coloredhoney's Story
(added 04-15-2008)so a dear and lovely sister friend of mine has a wonderful website called dar a luz focusing on holistic health and healing for pregnant women of color. sasa is a nurse, doula and world mama residing in philly, pennsylvania where coloredhoney now misses her much. i'm like ok you live in philly. ever run into jill scott's melodies or questlove's drumsticks? have you dug up the roots for a private rendition of silent treatment? is the liberty bell ringing with true promise of opening the way? cause if ain't none of that happening bring back your nature and nurture to brooklyn. por favor?
i went into labor on tuesday, may 9, 2000 during an unreasonably hot spring. my son's due date was may 2nd to no damn avail. my baby chilled comfortably in my womb may 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th until gravity taking time from an otherwise hectic schedule, stepped in for infinity and granted labor pains as mercy for the honey. i did everything to expedite the birthing process being a fast paced new yorker and all but my son enjoyed his natural carriage pushing me around prospect park absorbing the breeze and buzz of bees hanging out with fresh green trees. i drank castor oil to make labor pains come on. all that brought on was an upset stomach and utter irritation. i went to the prisoner's wife's house and she stuffed my embrace with a bounty of raspberry leaf tea and other herbal womb mysteries that are supposed to aid in a star being born. so i dressed my distended belly in ancient remedies to get on line with all the mothers who came before and my son was still reluctant to make his grand entrance. my nose had spread. my thighs had bloomed. my breasts were big. outside, the solar heat made me sweat in the oddest and most private of my corporal spaces. and on many occassions waiting for my baby to stop grandstanding i said i will be doing this like the fugees: one time.
i woke up may 9th while the sun was in the middle of still raising itself up from slumber. it glowed a dim gold before reaching its peak of bright shine for the day. though it was a little before 6a.m. i had an intrusive and abnormal urge to go to the park. but i wanna sleep, i said. but you have to get to the park, spirit said. so i left my man sleeping, crossed my heart and walked towards fort greene park in brooklyn. i sat on a bench overlooking a block of brownstones, one of which molded the childhood mind of spike lee. the grass welcomed my feet onto its silky dew. i wrote in my journal about new life beginning. i cried some. the sun shed a broad ray across my face and i became confident about heaven's promise riding my aura for the past nine and a half months. the baby was going to come fly and on time. then a sister's dog got excited to be off his leash and ran to give my belly a pat, feel and look see. i was startled. but i perceived him as elegba the messenger god making sure this maternal hostess handed down from antiquity was ready.
the rest of the day carried on cool with me serene and flowing outer spaced in my thoughts. i travelled on velvet concrete then lifted into a veritable float and knew that queen mother had descended from time to finish my ripening and pour into my pores a primal fluidity of strenghth. oh dip. this is it. she said ok now it's your turn to party. and promptly at 10p.m.coursing through the nba play-offs and my man yelling foul!, a rushing river ran painfully through me like your baby likes basketball and now he's ready. i paced my apartment back and forth searching in intervals of relief for recognition and concern from papi but that dude was singing a duet with kurtis blow. it was like he flipped into the screen, hands waving in the sky- we're playiiinnn basketbaaallll. we like that basketbaalll. after about the fifth time of pacing he looked up and said are you in labor? papi sherlock hit over the head by queen mother time. i lasered him with a good old glare and stare and kept it pacing like what do you think, negro?
i tried to write to take my mind off things but the contractions turned my neat script into an abstract sketch. i tried to remember my breathing. but all i could remember was how to crawl. i crouched my tiger and hid my dragon until i could not take it anymore. i had to make a phone call. orangeyellowgold fire breath flew out my mouth when sasa answered the phone. she said you're in labor and i was thankful for sister intuition intervention. she and another friend drove to my house and sasa my sister became my doula, herself barely a new mother.
my son was to be delivered at a birthing center in manhattan. when the pains became hella crazy we piled in the car, papi sherlock, rachel, sasa, me and my trusty pillow. we raced over the brooklyn bridge the stars, moon, city lights and windows becoming space is the place portals of telecommunication for me and my baby. i asked him to work hard and gently in concert with me to ensure a safe return. i was ready for the labor room complete with a queen sized bed, rocking chair, and whirlpool. and then the midwife scented in lavender holistic splendor dropped the axe and said go home until you widen a few centimeters. chick are you crazy? you wanna get punched in your face in this lovely chic birthing center? papi, sasa, and rachel pleaded with the birthing brigade at the front desk to let me sit and rest. but they gave me an herbal concoction that smelled curiously of rum and cloves and told me to take my black ass back on home.
i moaned and yewed field hollers and gospel clutching my pillow on 14th street. the car was parked in from the corner of the "a" train and the nightclub, two eyes. we ambled back to the car worn and dejected. i said f' it and sank to the sidewalk hugging my pillow singing in the key of the jennifers and said no, i'm not going. no no no nooo way....my people whispered softly to me, come on coloredhoney, we have to get in the car. before nudging me again we noticed a young man robbing the car. rachel yelled yo! wtf!? what are you doing? a doofy shock took over his face and he asked like he descended from a long royal line of dummies, 'oh this is your car? my bad, y'all, my bad. i'ma go. i'm leaving right now. then he noticed me and his look turned from shock to slight empathy like good luck.
in the early a.m. on wednesday may 10th we made our way back through the flashing lights illuminating the brooklyn bridge and surround sound city to be admitted fo sho into the birthing center. this chick was not going home. and indeed the midwifery crew said welcome. i then began to really get down to labor. then on may 11th at 5:44 on thursday morning after a transfer to the hospital, a decision for a c-section and a surprising level of cursing had subsided, from my belly, a prince was lifted, a cry erupted and joined earth and sea and i said let there be shining on my child for life dancing solid gold strobes of light.
charmed in brooklyn back in 2000,
coloredhoney as a new mommy.
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